Kakao, Korea’s Messaging App, a Religious Awakening

Hey there. You probably text a lot, don’t you? In fact, you probably use an unlimited texting cell plan. Now, I once went through the world without care, without any real thought at all about whether things could be better. What do I mean, you ask? Let me demonstrate for you. Open up your phone’s texting app. Yes, that generic texting app that you’ve used blindly for the last decade of your life. Does it suit you? Does it really? Think hard about your answer. What can you do with your app? You have the same-old, same-old emoticons. You can send voice notes, your location perhaps, and contact information. But is that all that we want from an app we use daily? Is that the best we can hope for? My friends, I was once like you. Then one day, I found out about Kakao, and it changed my life.

KakaoTalk? What’s 카카오톡?

Let me say, it’s fine if you’ve never heard of Kakao, also known as KaTalk to Koreans themselves. Though it has dominated its home country of South Korea, it still remains elusive elsewhere. But once you learn about it, you will have no excuse not to use it. Kakao to this American is a religious experience. It’s the best messaging app I have ever used. Moreover, it’s the only texting app that I ever want to use again. How could I feel so strongly about this app? After moving to Korea, I actually shied away at first. It was too cute. But after I had used it for a month, then two, I realized how wrong I was. I realized how my American bias truly kept me from seeing its unique charm immediately.

Korea’s Premier Messaging App

Yes. Korea’s premier messaging app, in full KakaoTalk, converted me. However, I am but a new and lowly servant. This messaging platform commands the attention of over 93% of South Korea’s cell phone users as the number one messaging app. Additionally, over 220 million accounts are registered worldwide with about 50 million actively used every month. Indeed, the Holy Land of Kakao is indeed South Korea, but other lands give their offerings, with Indonesia and Japan being strong users of this app as well. Even so, what does making a covenant with this monolith foretell? To illustrate, let’s spell out its benefits.

The Benefits of Such a Sacred Communion with Kakao Are Endless

  • SMS platform for no cost
  • Multimedia sharing, including photos and videos that can be taken within app
  • Voice notes, voice calls, and video calls for those that want a more personal experience
  • Location sharing capabilities for finding friends
  • File-sharing capabilities for the savvy businessman
  • Instant migration of contacts from phone
  • And much, much more

What divine providence! This monolith is no small thing. Kakao is used in business places across Seoul as the de facto method of communication. In fact, I use it myself in my office. The popular messaging app has a desktop client that allows you to continue messaging on your laptop or computer where Microsoft Word files, spreadsheets, and PowerPoint presentations can easily be shared for collaboration. Furthermore, you can chat with however many people you would like by forming Group Chats, making talking with your coworkers a breeze. And say someone does something nice for you? You can easily gift them a food voucher for big businesses like Starbucks. It’s a handy way of keeping up new friendships, especially if in a foreign country. Yes, if it’s your desire, you can do it all.

Its life-giving chalice is a simple click away on iOS, Google Play, and many other app stores. But let’s not forget about Kakao’s main draw. Beyond its sophisticated platform that additionally includes KakaoStory, KakaoTaxi, KakaoMap, KakaoMetro, and so on, you can use this amazing app to access PC Cafes across South Korea. I cannot possibly enumerate all of its sacred mysteries in this little time allotted. But lest I forget, for the past year I have remained an obedient user of its super-cute emojis.

Kakao Friends Are Clearly the Best: Here’s Why

In this digital age of communication, emoticons and emojis are indispensable. They allow us to communicate more effectively with emotion to amuse our friends and families. But with KakaoTalk, the basic set of emoticons become nearly obsolete as their group of characters, the Kakao friends, have monopolized the messaging app since 2012 when they began to release.

Muzi Series

The first four came in the Muzi Series. They were Muzi himself, ConJay-G, and Apeach. Muzi is a lovable radish dressed in a rabbit suit, created by the mad scientist Con (who happens himself to be a miniature crocodile). Jay-G is a secret agent mole in search of a rabbit’s liver, which creates an odd entanglement with Muzi, and Apeach is a genetically modified peach who escaped from a tree. As you can see, it’s all beautiful, and it all makes the most perfect sense.

Frodo Series

The next three came in the Frodo Series. TubeFrodo, and Neo captivated audiences everywhere. First, Tube is a cowardly duck that feels badly about his feet, which is why he wears flippers. He also turns green and breathes fire when he’s angry! Meanwhile, Frodo and Neo are my two favorites. They are the official couple of the Kakao friends group. Frodo is a rich dog from the city, ashamed by his mixed breed. Neo is the fashionista cat that loves Frodo so much, she let him into her cold heart. Their story fills this man with such emotion. If you could only peruse all of the emojis, you too might understand.

Ryan Series

And finally, Ryan the lovable lion. His name forms the most perfect of assonances in Korean. What can I say? The maneless lion from Africa, destined to rule his homeland but wanting freedom, his expressionless face allows us to infer anything we wish. He shows his emotion in ways beyond understanding. Let us join together in beautiful harmony under his most delicate emotions!

What About Kakao’s Competitors?

Just imagine if you were to abandon such false idols as Whatsapp to accept the true blessings of Ryan and his friends. Such a thing would ignite the fires of friendship and faithful love across the land. As aforementioned, Kakao dominates in South Korea. Plus, its reach into places like Indonesia and Japan are growing with more marketing, ranking it at seventh place globally. But for a devoted follower like me, this is too slow. I hope to spread the religion of Kakao across the globe to my American friends and family, where they too can enjoy in the charm and privilege of getting to use such cute emojis with Danny and me. We are but drops in the ocean. Will you join us in the cascade?

Though Whatsapp and the ubiquitous Facebook Messenger remain top dogs, other chat platforms are popular as well. Specifically, Viber, WeChat, and others snap up at small numbers of people. Just imagine if they would all come to the blessed light! Ryan would almost smile! As a matter of fact, thinking about it, I weep tears of joy.

If You Don’t Believe This Humble Prophet…

From here out, sacrifice your disbelief to the testimonials of three people. These individuals have wildly different experiences. One comes from the east coast of the United States, another from the Midwest, and the last from South Korea itself. At the same time, though, their love of Kakao all reflects the same. Their simple explanations of why Kakao should be spread across the land give inspiration to us all. Read on, for these heartfelt testimonials could only fill you with pride.

So What Will Your Choice Be?

Will you upgrade how you message your friends and loved ones, sharing with them the ease of file transfers and the joy of lovable characters? Or will you yet wallow in the filth of the generic morass of texting apps? Without doubt, the choice is clear, brothers and sisters. Be on the right side of history, lest your descendants ultimately scorn you.

In fact, for those of you who have seen the light, your duty, nay, privilege, remains to convert your friends to the truth of Kakao. What do you like about Kakao’s features? Do any of your friend’s use it to chat with you? Share your joy in the comments below!

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